no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
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