Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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