Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
