Just fell off a train. Bad.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Shame is for Republicans.
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