you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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