And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
