If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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