Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
