While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
