You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
