she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
