So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
