we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
