Can Purell be used as lube?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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