White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
