You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
