FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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