I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
