By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
