There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
