The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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