I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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