But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
