either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
