Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
