Don't you send me to vm
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
