My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize