We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
youre lurking in front of me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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