I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
operation harelip BJ is a go
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
