Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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