did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
