What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
