yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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