My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
