everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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