Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
