he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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