I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
