no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
