there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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