You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
