While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
