So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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