She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And the cops told us we were all naked.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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