Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
