i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
