So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
