We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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