Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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