You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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