just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
