once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
