so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
