I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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