where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
