If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
