just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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