he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
