There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
